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WTF is Bondage?

Learn why bondage sex is a fun kink to explore and why being tied up and restrained is so arousing.

Photo: Lucky Business via Shutterstock

So, you’re curious about bondage sex? Wondering what it would be like to be tied up and fucked? Maybe you’re interested in using hand and leg restraints on your partner—and dominating them as you take control of their orgasm and when they are allowed to cum. Don’t be shy—after all, you clicked on this article.

Bondage sex is a classic kink staple in the world of BDSM and a fantasy that many couples—both curious and hardcore—act out. Maybe the idea of submission makes you wet? Or perhaps you want to be punished with rough sex play? Do you get off on the idea of being ejaculated or squirted on by your partner as they dominate you and climax? No matter the kink, bondage offers plenty of room for exploration.

Let’s look at some of the reasons people like bondage and what is so exciting about being tied up and fucked. 

Top vs. Bottom: What Does It Mean?

Top and bottom are sexual terms that are used to describe an individual’s preferences during fucking. They are sexual positions and relate to power dynamics. 

In the world of bondage sex, a top is the dominant, the person controlling the situation. The bottom, in turn, is the person submitting and being controlled. 

Also, it’s key to realize that just because one partner is the top doesn’t mean that they always want to be the top—and vice versa. It’s perfectly normal for there to be role reversal from one sexual experience to another. 

What’s Hot About Bondage?

There are countless ways to have sex with bondage, and they range from mild to extreme.

For the beginner, bondage is a sexual and intimate play that involves the consensual restraining or tying up someone—strictly for pleasure. It’s a way to explore giving up or taking power during foreplay or while fucking, and introduces new heat and intimacy. It’s a form of sex play that builds and solidifies trust between partners.

Frankly, some people simply like getting tied up and restrained because it turns them on. When you’re in the role of a bottom, there is no choice other than to submit to the thrill and sensation you experience.

Here are some reasons why bondage sex is thrilling:

Submission & Masochism

Some people are really into experiencing pain during foreplay or sex. If you’re tied up and restrained, all you can do is anticipate the smack of a riding crop across your ass—there is nothing you can do to stop it. And if your partner is pouring hot wax across your nipples or pushing a cold glass dildo into your pussy, there is no way to stop them from punishing you. Your partner is in complete control. In this case, the anticipation can heighten pleasure.

Humiliation

If you are into voyeurism or being cuckolded, then bondage sex is hot as fuck. Think about this fantasy… your partner ties you up and has you totally restrained. Suddenly, another person enters the room, and your partner fucks them right in front of you. There is absolutely nothing you can do. You have to watch… you couldn’t leave if you tried. And the question remains, will you be allowed to cum? It is totally up to the other two people in the room if they want to let you experience any pleasure.

Sensation & Suspense

Even if you want to engage in light bondage sex through sensation play—and keep it gentle—this type of fucking can still be intensely erotic. Let your partner restrain you to the bed with a necktie or a scarf, and have them use a feather tickle or an ice cube on your nipples or pussy.  Use a blindfold and give in to the mystery of where they will kiss, lick, or fuck you.

Sheer Helplessness

When you decide to do bondage fucking, you are either taking total control of or giving over control to your partner. The thrill of helplessness is insanely arousing and can also be a big trust builder between two consenting people.

Charlotte, 29, has engaged in both dominant and submissive bondage sex, but she prefers being the Top. “I have a controlling personality by nature. I enjoy the power I feel when my partner completely submits to me, and I am in charge of the pleasure they receive. I like to dictate when they cum, and draw out the experience as much as possible.”

Bondage is a Common Kink

Bondage sex play is a very common kink—and there are countless ways to experiment and learn what you find sexy and what gets you off. Watch some bondage porn to understand what you enjoy watching and what makes you cum. 

Additionally, make sure to talk with your partner about your fantasy, just to make sure you’re on the same page and comfortable. Start experimenting during foreplay or when fucking… no matter how gentle or how hardcore.

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