Picture this: a dominant or “dom” having their way with a submissive or “sub” who yields to their desires and demands. To the uninitiated, it might look like bullying, but the secret ingredient here is consent. Both the dom and the sub are reveling in this spicy twist on BDSM sex play.
At first glance, an Authority Transfer Based Relationship sounds like something you’d arrange with your attorney or accountant. But seriously, don’t worry, we’re not diving into legalese or finance. The thrill of Authority Transfer Based Relationships stems in the bedroom, not at the bank.
Photo: Fetish Deluxe via Shutterstock
Authority Transfer Based Relationship Basics
Before we dig into the detail, let’s look at some facts about Authority Transfer Based Relationships, which:
- are a type of BDSM
- are built on an unequal power dynamic agreed upon by all involved
- involve different roles, but dominants and submissives are the most common
- tend to be varied; different types of Authority Transfer Based Relationships exist
- can be confined to the bedroom or extend far beyond
How Authority Transfer Based Relationships Work
We often think of the ideal relationship as a seesaw. It is a relationship that balances the distribution of power between both (or all) partners. But Power Exchange Relationships aren’t about losing control; they’re about the deliberate and consensual transfer of it. At the end of the day, this exchange isn’t a one-time event, it’s an ongoing, changeable, and deeply kinky power dance.
So how does this play out? For some, it’s about choreographing steamy “scenes” in the bedroom. Additionally, other kink enthusiasts choose to extend this dynamic into other parts of their lives, which you might have heard referred to as a “total power exchange relationship.”
It’s not just about doms and subs, either. Some people like to mix things up by switching roles. These “switches” might be a dom with one partner and a sub with another or they might adopt different roles at different times. Some people don’t like the terms dom and sub, or don’t believe they do the power dynamic in their relationship justice. A common alternative is master/slave.
Photo: Dmitry Vechorko via Unsplash
Consent is Key in an Authority Transfer Based Relationship
The keys to building a successful Authority Transfer Relationship are:
- Consent
- Clear communication
- Regular check-ins
- Establishing and respecting boundaries
- Consistent and ongoing after care
Consent & Communication are Most Important
This is the difference between an exhilarating sexual adventure and a runaway train. Every partner needs to be on the same page. Answer these questions:
- What’s on the menu and what definitely isn’t?
- What are your expectations? What are your partner(s)’?
Ultimately, this isn’t a one-time conversation, it’s a constant dialogue.
Authority Transfer Based Relationships must balance everyone’s desires and limits. To work effectively, there must be deep respect for your partner(s)’ boundaries, clarity over your own, and a willingness to engage in open communication about both. Communication doesn’t end when the scene does either; after care is equally as important.
Furthermore, realizing desires and levels of consent change should be considered the norm and not the exception. It stops being fun if you’re not all on the same page.
Photo: Colin Lloyd via Unsplash
Is Wanting A Power Imbalance an Unhealthy Trait?
Not at all. While BDSM sex is sometimes wrongly associated with emotional instability, mental health stats for the BDSM crowd are no different than the general public. In fact, some evidence suggests kinksters might even experience less neuroticism and higher degrees of overall satifaction with their lives.
What’s more, BDSM fantasies aren’t just common, they’re really common and it’s estimated that between 40-70% of people experience them. Approximately 20% of people have engaged in BDSM at some point. It might just be the secret to a happier relationship.
At the end of the day, consent and communication are the tools that turn a potential minefield into a playground for sexual adventure. When built on mutual desire, trust, and understanding, Authority Transfer Relationships can be a great way of achieving emotional and sexual fulfillment for all involved.
