Pleasuring a pussy is an art form—no matter if you’re playing with your partner… or if you’re doing a bit of self-love. To stimulate a pussy requires practice, trial and error, communication, exploration, and understanding. It’s true that many women enjoy and get off from penetrative sex. However, to truly bask in the experience, you need to do a bit of pussy worship ahead of time. And stimulate the clit to achieve orgasm.
Why? Because the clit has over 8,000 nerve endings—more than any dick on the planet. As sex researcher Emily Nagoski so eloquently wrote in her book “Come As You Are,” the clitoris is the “Grand Central Station of erotic sensation.”
Unfortunately, the clit isn’t always given the love, attention, and orgasms it deserves. Especially when considering the majority of focus throughout history has been on vaginal orgasms. Of course, a result of penetrative sex with a cock (thanks, Patriarchy!).
So, in this article, we are going to put the clit on a pedestal. Let’s learn how to stimulate a pussy and place a focus on the intense pleasure of clitoral orgasms.
How to Pleasure the Clit
Clit stimulation can be a huge game changer when taking your sex play to the next orgasmic level. Therefore, if it’s your goal to achieve max pleasure, then it’s necessary to get hands-on.
01
Finger Play with the Clit’s Hood
Fingering is probably where the majority of sex play started for each of us way back when, no matter if you were doing it in the backseat of your boyfriend’s car in high school or if you were finger fucking yourself as you learned about your body.
The external clit is most easily stimulated when you use your index finger and gently tap the hood and down the outer lips of your pussy. It’s a great way to stimulate a pussy’s whole structure and get it ready for more action.
You can also try what’s called “clit wanking.” This is where you put your fingers on either side of your clit’s hood, then gently lift it up and down, flanking it on either side. The motion can be hot and intense because you aren’t touching the hood directly.
02
Don’t Forget About the Internal Clit
Using a “come hither” motion, put your fingers right in your pussy and run them along the entire length of the rigid patch of skin inside the vag—this is “G-spot” territory. Press your fingers down and pulsate the area—you can go as deep as feels good and as fast or slow as you want.
Also, consider making a “Figure 8” motion, which can provide some intense pleasure. Repetition is key here with this move, so whether you are doing this to yourself or another person, don’t switch it up once you find your rhythm and the pussy is getting wet and responding.
03
Insert Another Finger… or Two
Look, babe, there’s a reason why our hands have five fingers. No need to be a Scrooge with the clit play. Explore cupping the pussy with your palm (like you’re holding a computer mouse). Or, flank the clit with a couple of fingers on one hand, rubbing gently, while you use your other hand to stimulate the clit from the inside.
Move from using one finger to two… three… hell, if you feel like it, you can work up to a full hand. Stimulation is increased because the sensation is boosted through multiple fingers.
04
Do Your ABCs
If you’re looking to make your partner’s clit hot, wet, and ready, then move beyond fingers and get to licking and sucking.
Cunnilingus is a great way to stimulate the clit. A fantastic oral sex move is to use your tongue and swirl it as you do your “ABCs” on the outside and inside of her pussy. Plus, this move allows you to see what she likes and how her body responds.
Erotic Exploration of the Clit
Kara, 35, did a lot of masturbating to figure out what she liked the most. This has helped her communicate her desires to her partner.
“I remember getting serious about masturbating when I was in college. I had had sex already; of course, I wasn’t a virgin. But the sex just seemed blah. I rarely was able to get off. The guys I went to bed with didn’t seem to know how to do anything that didn’t involve shoving their penis in me. I just wanted more.”
On her own, Kara spent time exploring and getting herself to cum—and it helped in the long run.
“When I say I spent a lot of time fingering myself, I mean it. But this allowed me to get comfortable with my body, and I learned how I could have a clit orgasm. Plus, today, I’m bisexual. No matter who I am with, the level of comfort I have with myself allows me to give and receive equal parts pleasure.”
The Magical Powers of the Clit
Putting a focus on the clit both during foreplay and while fucking can offer significant returns. Making sure your partner is turned on, wet and hot, and ready for penetration or other stimulation can up the ante for both of you. It will ensure the most intense levels of pleasure as you cum together.
