Kinky Guide: This Is How to Explore Role Play with Your Partner

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Photo: Marvin Corea via Pixabay

Gut me like a fish and fuck me! I pleaded with an aching urgency, my mermaid tail flapping about on the bed. A mess of sheets, lube, and sex toys surrounded my body during this role play sesh. Another shimmering mermaid was in the bed beside me, sucking on my nipples and massaging my clit with the Hitachi magic wand through my mermaid tail.  

We were deep into a mermaid role play scenario, and I had just discovered that there was no entry point for my fellow mermaiden to fuck my wet and aching cunt in the long stretch tail that I was wearing. She carefully sliced open the iridescent Lycra tail with a sharp knife, and her fingers slid right into my mercunt. 

I screamed out in pleasure, wiggling and thrashing under her touch until I came all over her delicate fingers. I was living out one of my fantasies and exploring my identity as an erotic mermaid.  

The Beauty of Role Play

You can create these containers for whatever role play you can imagine. There is such a freedom in stepping into these fantastical worlds. Whether you’re fantasizing about sex as a mermaid or as a kinky librarian, you have the power to create the characters and the scene that you want to explore with your partner. 

So where do we begin?

Fantasize! Role play is just that… play! Use your imagination to create characters, archetypes, and identities that you might want to explore. This initial exploration might look like closing your eyes to daydream. You might prefer to do some writing in your journal about a fantasy that you’d like to bring to life. What kind of characters fill your fantasy? 

Perhaps you are the sexy librarian in the pencil skirt and cat eye glasses. Maybe your partner returned their books late. Someone might need to be punished for their naughty behavior.  

Or maybe a playful puppy or a cantering pony play fantasy has you intrigued. Whether your fantasy is filled with glittery unicorns, sadistic nurses, or Princess Charming with a foot fetish… ultimately, if you can dream it, you can be it.

Your Fantasties Can Be Anything, Too

Remember, there are no rules with role play. Your fantasies can be ridiculous, funny, absurd, or fantastical– this is the land of imagination.  Allow yourself the freedom to explore all that is bubbling up in your sensual cauldron of creativity.  

Develop your character. Now that you have an idea of what sort of fantasy and dynamics you and your partner might want to explore, move on to develop your character.  

A few creative and fun ways to build out your role play character are developing a mood board, creating a collage, or journaling about your character.  

Sit down with your partner for a playful interview and ask them questions about their puppy personality or their naughty nurse persona.  

Consider what the defining aspects of your character’s personality are. What does your character desire, both sexually and in life? What are your character’s favorite activities, objects, or sex toys? And what is your partner’s relationship dynamic with your character?

Gathering this information will help you in sculpting your character and your scene with your partner.  

Embrace the Sense of Role Play

Once you and your partner have your role play characters built out, you can create the container for play.  You might decide to explore your nurse and doctor dynamic at a play party, or maybe your puppy character wants to catch frisbees in the backyard or be spanked with the Sunday newspaper while your dominant enjoys a cup of coffee. Dream up the different scenarios and places that your characters and dynamics can play out, and then begin.  

Remember to communicate. Like any other aspect of BDSM, communication is key. It’s important to talk through and negotiate scenes prior to play and not make assumptions.  

Remember to Have Safe Words

One of the aspects of role play that I enjoy is puppy play.  Years ago, I was traveling with a lover who was excited to play with my puppy persona once we had unpacked at the hotel. She had built up an entire scene in her mind and had a surprise for me.

I started wagging my tail, excited to see what kind of a playful toy she had packed in her suitcase. Maybe it was a squeaky toy, a butt plug, or a new vibrator? Instead, she pulled out a plastic cone! You know, the kind that they put on dogs to keep them from biting or licking  themselves. 

Needless to say, I called red. 

A plastic cone wasn’t on my puppy’s list of enjoyable activities.  

There are so many aspects to who we are, and role play is one of many ways for us to embody and play out our fantasies while exploring relational dynamics outside of the reality of our day-to-day lives. Get creative with your partner and explore the many different fascinating aspects of your erotic self through fantasy and imagination. 

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