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Are You Curious About Hooking Up with Another Woman?

Here’s a step-by-step guide to making your fantasy a reality.

You might have found yourself getting wet after watching two women hook up in a movie. Or maybe you realized you were flirting with a cute waitress or bartender, only to find yourself thinking about her when you’re alone and getting off.

Maybe you had a close encounter with a friend after a few glasses of wine, and that left you hot and bothered, wishing that something more had happened.

Whatever the situation that has made you fantasize about girl-on-girl sex, know it’s super common to be bi-curious and perfectly normal to consider exploring your sexuality and seeing what it’s like to have sex with a woman.

Here are some suggestions about what to do if you are thinking about going beyond having a girl crush and taking the plunge full-on into the lady pond.

Making Your Sexiest Fantasies a Living Reality

You don’t have to act on anything until you’re ready. Simply start with your imagination. It might seem basic, but it can also help you identify what you find hot and what you think is sexy in a woman. Don’t be afraid to let your fantasies run free. Let your mind drift. Don’t try to control it—and then… see how your body responds, what makes you wet, what makes you want more, what makes you come.

Your brain might tip-toe around certain fantasies simply because it’s new and unexplored territory, but your body might be saying, “Fuck yeah! More of that!”

Consider setting up a profile on an online dating site (FYI–there are ways to keep it incognito in case you’re worried about that). Put those fingers to use and get swiping. Try flirting with other women who are lesbian, bisexual, or like you and curious about exploring sex with women.

Play around and get comfortable, sext with different types of women, and see what arouses you, what makes you want to take it further. Don’t take it seriously–have fun.

“When I was bi-curious, I got on BiCupid,” commented Sophia, 32. “I checked out some profiles and eventually decided to spark a conversation. It started with chatting, but there was an attraction there. We started talking dirty, describing what we would do to each other and what we were doing to ourselves. It was a total confidence builder.”

Deciding on the Perfect Sex Partner

If you’re ready to move from fantasy to reality, there are several ways to decide who to get physical with.

Connecting on Dating Site

  • If you’ve made a connection on a dating site—and she’s geographically close, it may be totally possible to schedule a time to meet.
  • Meet in person somewhere public to feel the other person out and get to know them better face to face before going physical. Ensure you feel safe.
  • Some sites to consider: BiCupid, HER, OKCupid, BeNaughty, and Flirt

Sex with a Friend

  • Sometimes, bi-curious women might also go the friend route when looking to hook up, especially if they’ve had close calls in the past. 
  • Realize that, yes, there is risk involved if you’re friends, but there could also be some connection that offers more comfort and emotional connection.  
  • Make sure you and your friend are on the same page about what you want.

Kelly, 38, remembers the first time she ever hooked up with a woman during her freshman year of college. “I was 18. It was with a girl that I was really attracted to—think Tara Reid in American Pie. She and I were new friends. One night, we had some drinks at a party, and she ended up coming on to me; she told me she had been with women before.”

The pair simply made out at first. But then things heated up.

“I was really into it, and I had zero inhibitions. We took it back to her dorm, where she went down on me and made me come. Ultimately, the friendship didn’t last—not because of her, but because I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until years later that I walked down that path again—I was much more confident in my sexuality and what I wanted at that point.”

Be Honest About What You’re Looking For

If you decide to start looking around and find someone you are attracted to (and they’re into it, too), then be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for. Are you only interested in making out? Tell them. Want to have sex? That’s fine! So long as they’re down to fuck, then you’re all good! 

One caveat: You might want to share that it’s your first time with a woman. If she is into you, she may be okay with this. If she has been with women before, make sure she is comfortable giving you some guidance (because some people aren’t). Additionally, it shows that you want to make her feel good and aren’t simply there to be on the receiving end of pleasure.

No matter what you decide, be kind and open—no one wants to feel like they are a lab experiment.

The bottom line is if you’re feeling bi-curious, there’s no harm in giving sex with a woman a shot. Also, we encourage you to do some research beforehand so you can feel more prepared. Learn about the basics of eating pussy and what sex with a woman can entail. Of course, you can always watch some porn that is made for women by women.

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