There is something wildly seductive and magical about pregnancy. The pregnant individual becomes full and round–ripe, juicy, and dripping with the essence of life. And all of these factors can result in a pregnancy fetish.
The entire carnal vessel shifts and restructures itself; hormones surging, ligaments loosening, hips widening, the uterus expanding from the size of a pear to the size of a watermelon. Our senses of touch, smell, and taste become heightened and demanding… and at times we experience absurd desires and cravings. Pickles on pizza anyone?
Pregnancy is Magical
If pregnancy is an embodiment of the very alchemy of life, it makes sense that many individuals would find themselves attracted to this magnetic state of being. One that is queer as fuck with desires, kinks, and expression of self that are just as unique as we are.
To fetishize anything means to revere the object, body part, or individual that is bringing about an erotic charge or state of euphoria. Pregnancy fetish is the fetishizing of the pregnant body or the eroticizing of becoming or being pregnant.
Whether exploring pregnancy fetish or embarking on kinky exploration with a pregnant pleasure vessel, your options for satiating your desires are as limitless as your imagination.
Photo: Folajimi Famosaya via Pexels
Pregnancy is a Turn On to Many People
Long gone are the days that pregnancy is for women and femmes only. Butch babes, non-binary parental units, and trans masculine papas are birthing babies, too. Midwives, doulas, and birthing practitioners are updating their vernacular and their practices to be queer, kink-aware, and trans-inclusive.
And it’s about time!
When I was pregnant with my first child back in 2010, I struggled to find stories, education, and depiction of queer parents and sex-positive resources for pregnant parents to be. I encountered heavily biased, conservative, and uneducated opinions from my OB/GYN regarding sex during pregnancy.
This was a major catalyst for me doing my own research, starting support and community groups for queer and sex-positive parents (and parents to be), and writing the book The Ultimate Guide to Sex Through Pregnancy and Motherhood.
Pregnancy Sex Needed a Different Perspective
I had read through enough hetero normative pregnancy guides. So, I wanted to see a collection of shared information among queer, kinky, and poly parents that was open, informative, and written for us and by us.
The book was published by Cleis Press in 2016, just one month before the birth of my second child. However, in that period of six years I had seen change and growth in how birthing teams and professionals were supporting expecting parents. This time around, my midwifery team was primarily comprised of a team of queer, trans, and sex-positive practitioners that were holding space for me to give birth the way I wanted, which was an absolutely ecstatic and empowering experience.
Sex and Pregnancy Go Hand-in-Hand
Who we are as sexual beings doesn’t cease to exist during pregnancy. Our desire for pleasure may shift and change, it may ebb and flow, but connecting with our partners or our own bodies during pregnancy is just one more aspect of our sexuality to explore.
Photo: Juliane Monari via Pexels
Who Am I and What Do I Desire?
One of the things that I learned during pregnancy is to be present and check in with what I desired–on that day and in that moment.
During pregnancy, one’s body changes rapidly. Hair pulling could be something you totally would dig on one day… but then on the next day, you feel like you are going to scratch someone’s eyes out if they even think about touching you or your hair.
When I was pregnant with my first child, this drove me crazy. I was so afraid that I was losing my edge, my identity. If I didn’t feel up for a tough bondage scene or heavy impact session, I thought I had lost my masochistic superpower forever.
Accepting Identity Shifts
What I discovered was that our erotic desires and the need for touch and sensation ebbs and flows. It’s not static. And that with all the changes my body was experiencing during pregnancy it was as simple as the fact that sometimes I wanted to be nurtured, not spanked!
Sometimes I wanted soft, silk rope as opposed to the toothy bite of hemp rope. I grew to understand, trust, and listen to my body.
Having a period of time where I desired a softer touch didn’t make me weak, rather it allowed me to explore another way of connecting and experiencing pleasure that was different from the tight bondage and rough masochistic scenes that I was used to.
I gained an understanding that I didn’t always need to push myself to the edge. And that there was beauty in all connections.
Photo: Andrea Bertozzini via Unsplash
A Practical Approach to a Pregnancy Fetish
What this looked like in a practical sense was that before a scene or sexy time with my partner(s), I would check in with my body and ask the following questions:
- What touch, play, or scenario would feel inspiring and nourishing right now?
- What do I have the energetic capacity for tonight?
- What feels good to my body right now in this moment?
- In what way do I want to connect with my partner right now?
I would also ask my partner these questions and then together we would sculpt a scene that was inspiring and pleasurable for all involved. We would also check in regularly throughout our scene, vocalizing if anything needed adjusting or if something just wasn’t working.
Pregnancy fetish and exploring kink during pregnancy can be as widely diverse as the spectrum of sexual expression.
Below are just a few ideas to rev up your kinky engine.
01
Inseminate Me Baby! The Basics of a Pregnancy Fetish
The very act of becoming pregnant–or role playing insemination–can be super sexy and kinky!
What kinky insemination fantasies can you dream up? Maybe your partner plays the role in a pregnancy fetish of a bad ass bike courier with a special sperm donor delivery? Or your fantasies might even be totally out of this world and involve being impregnated with an alien being after an anal probing! Let your imagination go wild and play!
02
Put on a Show For Me
By the time I was eight months pregnant, my body was unpredictable. Sometimes I felt great and super erotically charged. Other times, I was massively exhausted. For those lower energy times, I greatly enjoyed stepping into a more dominant role and having partners entertain me. Light some candles, put on some music, and let your partner put on a show for you. Whether that’s a kinky strip tease or watching as your partner pleasures themselves… sit back and enjoy the show, possibly with a vibrator in hand!
03
Animal Farm
Animal role play has always been one of my favorites! It’s playful, fun, and allows us to connect to our wild side! What kind of fun scenarios can you envision as you bring the element of pregnancy into animal role play? Are you a pregnant puppy that needs to be pampered, brushed, scratched behind the ears, and fed treats?
I’ve known kinky milky pregnant cows (that actually pull off a super sexy scene!) and pregnant piggies and ponies. Maybe you’re a magical pregnant unicorn! The key here is finding a character and scenario that is arousing to you and is something you personally feel drawn to embodying.
04
Service With a Smile
Whether you are a submissive or dominant, service is an aspect of kink that easily flows into pregnancy. In some D’s dynamics, the very act of carrying a child and taking care of yourself during pregnancy is seen as an act of service. Drinking water, eating healthy food, going out for a walk–all of these things can be identified as aspects of service.
For a pregnant Dominant partner, service submissives taking care of the household chores, making dinner, running a bath for them, and handling appointments are all aspects of service that can be eroticized and deeply appreciated. This can occur at any time but especially later in pregnancy.
05
Pamper Me
Pregnancy is a long journey. When full term, you are looking at nine months!
There were times when my body was utterly exhausted and sore. And I felt so enormous. My petite 5’2’’ frame was so round I could no longer see my toes!
This is when I easily shifted into Pregnant Goddess mode and I was more than ready to have my partner(s) wait on me hand and foot. It was erotic for them to crawl into my bed chamber, fan me, feed me grapes, massage me, and worship my pregnant body, including my engorged breasts that were double or triple in size.
Even a simple foot rub can be kinky! Or maybe bathing your submissive pregnant goddess in a sensual bath of epsom salts and rose petals is what is called for. Maybe consider kneeling before your pregnant dominant Mistress and paint the toenails that she can no longer see.
These are all acts of devotion, love, adoration, and above all… connection.
So go explore your pregnancy fetish, communicate, fantasize, and see where your wildest desires dare to take you.
Note: During your pregnancy journey, it is important to have a birth team and trusted medical advisors who can answer your questions. It is key to ensure that you feel comfortable having open conversations about sex and pregnancy. Know that each body and pregnancy journey will be different. Therefore, you have a choice and options regarding who you select as providers. If you feel that your doctors are conveying biased information, you have the right to seek out second (or even third or fourth) opinions.
