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How to Have Anal Sex

Here’s our complete guide to anal sex and how to have serious butt-play fun.

Photo: Deon Black via Unsplash

In recent years, there has been a renaissance of sorts in the area of anal sex, and traditional taboos have shifted, allowing for a more open and sex-positive mindset regarding backdoor fucking.

Instead of anal play being a “no way, no how, entirely off-limits” type of sex because of bullshit myths like, “it’s only for gay guys,” “only men get pleasure out of fucking a woman’s ass,” and “it’s gross and is going to hurt,” more women are reporting being open to it and adding it to their bedroom fun.

However, to get max enjoyment out of ass play, there are some tips to follow. If you want to learn how to have anal, then keep reading so you know how to achieve hot backdoor bliss.

Yes, You Can Orgasm from Butt Fucking

Let’s just state a quick anal fact—yes, you can get off and cum from being fucked in the butt. Anal sex can result in some of the most intense orgasms ever, especially when combined with simultaneous pussy penetration and clit stimulation.


Because the anus is a nerve-ending paradise. Additionally, the A-spot, which is a component of the internal clit, is reached with anal penetration. The wall that separates the rectum and vag is pretty thin, more than you might imagine (just ask any person who’s had a baby). The closeness of the vajayjay to the bootyhole is a crucial reason the clit can be stimulated with butt sex.

Nothing Wrong with Some Ass Play

What you define as great sex can be expanded upon with a bit of exploration into the realm of anal fucking—it truly can add incredible spice to your sex life. And really, the only reason this is a new topic for many women is because sex education in our society tends to suck, and mainstream critics have made anal a taboo topic. It’s a bunch of nonsense.

Therefore, no matter if you are ready to take it from behind or simply want to learn more about how to do it properly, consider these tips:

Stock Up on Lube & Get Relaxed

First, grab the lube; when you think you have applied enough, apply some more. Also, consider using some warming lubricant, which can help you relax, get blood flowing, and ease your muscles. Just ensure you’re not super sensitive to it by spot-testing before going all in on warming lube. 

Take our word for it that you need to be fully relaxed before you have your asshole penetrated by fingers, a butt plug, a dildo, or a dick.

Don’t Try to Rush It—Keep the Tempo Slow

As much as any of us probably enjoy hot and hard sex, your pussy is different from your ass, and we cannot emphasize just how important it is not to force anything or take it too fast. Go as slow as you are comfortable with. If something feels off, stop and start over. You won’t have an enjoyable experience if you are clenching your asshole or feel discomfort because of a bad angle.

Start Small

When it comes to anal sex, size is a consideration. As much as you might be interested to learn what a fat, hard dick feels like back there, start small. For instance, begin with a single lubed finger or a small butt plug that has a flared base (also, make sure there is always a flared base! You can lose these and a trip to the ER with a butt plug stuck up your ass is decidedly not a pleasurable experience!).

A Variety of Positions Can be Used

There’s a common misconception that the way you fuck anally is by resting on your hands/elbows and knees, doggy style. This isn’t true, though, and you can have butt sex by laying on your back in traditional missionary, being bent over a table or other piece of furniture, or when spooning. Many positions are anal sex-friendly and enjoyable.

Many people find missionary-style anal to be easier to control and less painful.

Don’t Overlook Analingus

Before you go “ick,” know that it’s totally possible to experience considerable pleasure by having your anus licked. Tossing the salad is also an excellent way to get started with booty sex. By stimulating all of the different nerve endings around your butthole, you get the blood flowing.

Eve, 27, admits she was nervous to have anal sex—but now it’s a must-do in bed.

“My boyfriend of three years had approached this subject multiple times, but I always shot him down. I was just too nervous to have butt sex. That attitude changed, though. We were traveling, and we wandered into this sex shop. I had had a couple of glasses of wine and was really relaxed, so I agreed to try a butt plug.”

The couple returned to their hotel room with a big bottle of lube.

“We eased into it. He was gentle and played around a little with my asshole before sticking the butt plug in. I realized I didn’t mind it, and then, when he simultaneously played with my vagina, sticking a couple fingers in, I had a seriously intense orgasm. Honestly, I came harder than I ever did in my life.”

After growing comfortable, Eve decided to move on to *bigger* things.

“It was a little after that experience that I finally let my partner penetrate me with his cock. Again, he went very slow, but we got into a rhythm. I played with my pussy while he fucked me from behind. This time, the orgasm was even more intense. My eyes literally rolled into the back of my head.”

Great Anal Sex Requires Trust

Anal sex is a great trust builder between consenting partners because it requires considerable communication and coordination. As with any sort of sex play, make sure everyone knows what is okay and what isn’t.

Also, realize that anal sex has the potential to be messy, so maybe throw down some old sheets or lay out some towels before you start. Not gonna lie; unless you do an enema beforehand, there is the potential to have poop goop leakage, especially if a man comes inside you.

Once you are done fucking, go to the bathroom right after. IMPORTANT: If you transition from butt to vaginal penetration, make sure any sex toys are washed with soap, as well as your partners’ fingers or cock. If you skip this essential step, you could get a bacterial infection like a UTI (urinary tract infection) or bacterial vaginosis.

Change the condom, too!!

So, what do you think? Willing to give anal sex a shot? If so, watch some anal porn, examine different positions to use with ass fucking, and then hold on to your butt—you are likely in for some of the most spicy sex of your life.

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