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WTF is Queening?

Here’s what you need to know about the oral sex act that prioritizes *your* pleasure.

Photo: Mariam Antadze via Pexels

Queening is an empowering sex position you need to know about STAT, because if you’re not doing it, you’re for real missing out—and so is your dominant sex personality.

The Fine Art of Sitting on Someone’s Face

Of course, you’ve heard about face-sitting—and it’s exactly what it sounds like. You put your pussy over your partner’s mouth for oral sex, usually cunnilingus (but it can also be for analingus).

In the BDSM community, this sex act is also called Queening. Realize that while it’s popular in the kink-fucking community—and there are variations here—there’s no reason why you can’t get on board with it.

Queening: A Bit of History

There’s some history behind this sex act that actually goes back thousands of years, all the way to Ancient Egypt and Ancient Japan.

During that time, enslaved men and servants would submit to the desires of noble women (namely, aristocrats and royalty).  If a woman needed to get off but her husband wasn’t around, she didn’t want to get pregnant, or if she was a virgin and a dowry was dependent on her cherry not being popped, then she might seek pleasure from the mouth of someone in her service.

Today, you don’t need to be a duchess to fuck someone’s face. Queening is for everyone.

A How to Guide to Queening

Urban Dictionary defines Queening as “An ancient art in which a woman presses and rubs her genitalia and/or anus against the tongue, lips, and nose of her subordinate.”

Want to try Queening with Your Partner? Follow These Tips.

  •  As the queen, have your “subject” lie on their back. Then, kneel over them.
  • Straddle their face and use your thigh muscles to hover your pussy over their mouth (don’t put your full weight down, that could prevent them from breathing).
  • You can face forward or backward; it doesn’t make a lick of difference (pun fully intended).
  • Once in position, your partner is free to suck, lick, and flick your clit with their tongue.
  • Your partner can also use sex toys like a butt plug or a dildo on you, along with their mouth. Whatever feels good.
  • You might also try sitting on your partner’s face like a chair; this allows for easy ass play.
  • Tell your partner exactly how you want your pussy or your ass sucked, kissed, and licked—remember, you’re the queen.

Natasha, 36, thinks Queening is one of the most satisfying sex positions around. “I love the control aspect of it; that’s part of my personality. Yes, I was a little nervous at first, but at the end of the day, my boyfriend really loves eating pussy, and he encouraged me to sit on his face.”

After a bit of practice, Natasha found her groove.

“I love telling him what to do. And he loves submitting to it. Let’s face it, I love coming in his mouth.”

Mastering the Queening Technique

Yes, there is an element of power play to this sex position, which is totally exciting for some couples. From a physical standpoint, Queening allows the woman on top to control the pace and set the tone while also stimulating the clit. Having that sort of dominance can help you get off on your terms. 

Just one word of caution, while Queening is incredibly sexy and fun, just like with any type of fucking, communication is key. Make sure you know your partner’s comfort level and any potential boundaries they have. Experiment with how much pressure your partner can take and ensure there is a signal if they have a problem breathing just to be safe.

With a bit of experimentation as well as an understanding of what feels good, Queening can be a quiver-inducing new position to introduce the next time you and your partner have sex.

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