When it comes to relationships, there is no “one-size-fits-all,”… no matter how much the patriarchy and conservative naysayers insist upon it. Rather, there are so many sultry dynamics surrounding issues related to love, lust, companionship, family, friendship, fucking… and no matter how vanilla or kinky, all are normal. This brings us now to the concept of the throuple relationship.
Let’s dive into this spicy topic and explore how throuples function.
What is a throuple, and how does it work?
On the most basic level, a throuple is defined as a romantic relationship involving three individuals who are equally committed to each other. Ultimately, a throuple is different from a threesome—it isn’t about a casual fuck session where another person is invited to a couple’s bed for the night.
A throuple goes beyond fleeting moments of sexual pleasure. It is a relationship that offers a deep, meaningful connection that defies traditional norms and inspires desire and devotion among three people, regardless of gender or sexual identity.
Photo: via Freepik
A Beautiful Dynamic
Just as love is beautiful between two people, so, too, is it when it is present among three.
Ultimately, one of the most alluring aspects of a throuple is the dynamic it creates. Each person brings unique energy, desires, and perspectives to the relationship, forming a deliciously complex physical, mental, emotional, and sexual bond.
Additionally, just like any committed relationship between a couple, communication forms the bedrock of any successful throuple. Open, honest conversations about needs, boundaries, sexual preferences, and kinks are not just encouraged but essential. This level of transparency fosters trust and understanding, creating a safe space where sexual fantasies can be explored without judgment and where red flags and green flags are clearly understood and respected by all three people.
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How Does a Throuple Work?
Now, let’s talk about how a throuple works in practice. Imagine waking up in the morning to the warm embrace of not just one but two lovers. The intimacy is multiplied, and the connection the three of you share is deepened because you equally cherish and know each other.
It’s also important to note that while having two partners to fuck every night is thrilling and sexy, a throuple (again, unlike a threesome between a couple and a unicorn, for example) is not just about sex.
An easier way to think about it? Consider this.
Is any marriage or partnership just about the sex? The answer to that is probably no in most cases. Instead, it’s about what goes on outside the confines of the bedroom. You go on vacations together, raise children together, clean the house and cook, pay the bills, spend time with friends, manage work stress, build one another up, and offer a shoulder to cry on.
Shelley, 43, has been in a throuple relationship with Leo, 45, and Jonathan, 42, for the past eight years. “Initially, Leo and I got together,” states Shelley. “But we met Jonathan at a party and found chemistry between the three of us,” she explains. “I’m straight, but Leo is bi, and at first, we thought maybe this was an opportunity for a threesome.”
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Shelley recounts that’s how it began, with sex, but it moved past that when they realized there were feelings present.
“The three of us fell in love, which was wonderful. We decided to become a throuple,” she smiles. “Fast forward, and today we have two children—Jonathan is the biological father of my kids. And our house operates exactly the way other people’s homes do. We all mind the children, contribute differently to the running of the house, take trips to the beach, that sort of thing. The only difference is that there are three people in our bed. Our love and passion are so special.”
Just as a bond between two wives, two husbands, or a husband and wife is special, the connection between three people can be an incredibly fulfilling life experience.
Managing Roles in a Throuple
The role of each person in a throuple can vary widely. Some may have a hierarchal structure with one person as the primary partner, while others may prefer an egalitarian approach where all three are equals. It’s entirely possible for one partner to fuck the two others while the other two do not have sex. It could even be that one partner is asexual and does not engage in any type of sex play at all.
The point is that there is no right or wrong way to have a throuple relationship, so long as everyone feels valued, heard, and loved in their own right.
Photo: cottonbro studio via Pexels
Addressing Jealousy, the Green-Eyed Monster
However, just like in a relationship involving two people, jealousy can also be present in a throuple—but it takes on a different hue.
It is not about eradicating jealousy altogether but understanding its roots and addressing underlying insecurities with compassion. When approached with empathy and communication, jealousy can catalyze growth and deeper connection.
“We have specific rules for managing jealousy within our relationship—the first begins with how we have sex,” says Shelley. “When we are in bed, we are in bed together. There is never a time when I have sex with Leo without Jonathan present, for instance. And there is never a time when they have sex without me. We are always inclusive in this regard.”
In this regard, Shelley, Leo, and Jonathan practice the art of “compersion.” This means the “opposite of jealousy.” It’s about feeling positive emotions, warmth, and happiness when one partner might cozy up to another partner. To quote PyschCentral, compersion is about “deriving joy from seeing another person’s joy.”
Compersion is a term regularly and commonly used in polyamorous relationships.
Photo: cottonbro studio via Pexels
Navigating Social Norms
Yes, our society is evolving, and we are collectively getting better at understanding different types of relationships, but this can still be a challenge for a throuple.
Unfortunately, misconceptions abound, and courage and conviction are necessary for anyone engaged in this lifestyle. It’s about living authentically, regardless of what others say or think.
Photo: Matheus G.O via Unsplash
Rewriting the Script
It is impossible to box love into predefined categories. Throuples embody the freedom to love who you love unapologetically and passionately. Throuples celebrate diversity, sexuality, and inclusivity—they are a testament to the boundless nature of human connection.
If you’re curious about exploring the world of throuples, remember that it’s about more than just adding someone new into your current relationship. Rather, it’s about finding love, trust, respect, communication with someone new, and incorporating that person. Don’t feel ashamed if you fall in love with more than one person. Ultimately, you might just discover a love story that is as unique as you are.
