As a kid, I loved monsters; I re-read the same five cryptozoology books from the library, devoured a graphic novel version of Dracula, and developed serious opinions about whether Bigfoot was better than the Yeti.
Decades later, I discovered that I wasn’t alone. There’s a huge community of people who write, draw, or daydream about loving monsters in a more graphic way. Additionally, there are fans of Lillian Lark’s Love Bathhouse series with its sexy basilisks and gargoyles, as well as artists who create erotic depictions of minotaurs.
Then, of course, there’s everyone posting to the #MonsterMarch feed on places like Tumblr and Instagram. But who are all these people?
Digital Art: Astor Bonder via Etsy
I Wanted to Know More
Specifically, I wanted to know: why monsters? Is it just that a bunch of us grew up on Twilight and Gargoyles and developed a craving for fangs in the process? Given that many monster fans are queer, trans, women, or some combination of the three, why would they choose to escape from a hostile world into a fantasy centered on danger?
One of the first benefits I heard about in my interviews was an obvious one: novelty. Humans often crave and enjoy newness. And what could be more novel than a partner whose body is so alien from one’s own?
Adult Toy from Anil via Etsy
The Thrill of the Foreign
If you search for monster-themed sex toys, many of the offerings focus on insertive toys where monstrousness is connoted by being as thick as a soda can and several inches longer. They may bear a resemblance to a tentacle, plant stamen, or insect genitals rather than a penis. So, you might assume the novelty in question is purely dick-based. I won’t deny that genitals came up more than once in my research.
Derick, 32, mentioned, “While there is nothing wrong with a human, in terms of genitals, things are pretty similar, and that’s something with a monster that could wildly vary.”
However, what turned up more frequently in my conversations was the appeal of touching a monster.
Jonah, 19, explained, “Because I have autism, sometimes basic physical interaction is hard, including things like hand-holding and cuddling. Like touching skin is not great, but feathers and scales and fur are better.”
Zipper, 21, noted that tactile considerations actually influence which monsters appeal to them. Mercreatures could be pleasantly slippery, and werewolves provide thick, soft fur to pet and hold on to. When it comes to monster fucking, the overall experience of sensuality is more important than their junk.
Image: nana_aja via Pixabay
Keeping an Open Mind
In a world where there’s an immense amount of pressure for people to be sexual superstars without ever talking to a partner or engaging in trial and error, monster bodies require exploration and an open mind.
Gru, 22, noted, “A nonhuman is going to have different anatomy than most humans, so I’m bound to learn something new.”
For instance, a monster partner can’t expect a human to be an expert on their anatomy; sex between a Mothman and a human can’t be pleasurable and safe for all involved without a little negotiation.
Monster fucking offers up an alluring alternative to the common assumption that if someone is “good at sex,” they’ll “just know” how to give themselves and their partner a mind-blowing good time.
Image: Anya Juárez Tenorio via Pexels
What It Means to be a Monster Fucker
When you’re fucking a monster, taking your time and getting to know your partner’s body is not just encouraged, it’s actively embraced. It’s also appealingly reciprocal.
As you discover new things about the monster’s body, they’re doing the same with yours. You may consider your human body mundane, but for a monster, it is an object of wonder. If there are parts of your body that you’re self-conscious about, a monster, not weighed down by societal notions about how you “should” look, might find those aspects neutral or even appealing.
Which brings me to another major piece of this fantasy: a monster will automatically understand, accept, and empathize with the non-normative parts of you.
This element is a huge part of monster fucking’s appeal. And especially to those who are queer, trans, neuroatypical, or otherwise marginalized. If you’re an outsider, it can be hard to tune out social expectations or assumptions about your body or your behavior, even when you’re just trying to masturbate.
Monsters offer a way around that roadblock.
Because they know what it’s like to be an outsider, monsters will sympathize with your experiences. Furthermore, because they’re not weighed down by human cultural norms, they won’t push you away for the ways you’re different.
Zipper said, “To me, this otherness monsters have translates to a kind of emotional safety not found with human partners.”
Image: 1tamara2 via Pixabay
An Interesting and Sexy Dynamic
The contrast between that sense of safety and the inherent danger of someone who is bigger than you or who has sharp teeth or razor-like claws is a big “hell yeah” for many monster fuckers.
Yes, monsters are terrifying to look at—but at their core, all they want to do is protect and pleasure you. It’s an alluring dynamic for many fans of this fantasy.
And the fact that the monster is immediately clockable as a physical threat can be appealing in another way.
SC, 25, drew a connection between their love of monsters and a history of abusive partners. “In a way, I’ve dated real monsters, and the physical kind just seems preferable in comparison.”
This is true because, crucially, monsters know that they’re a threat.
They don’t demand that you ignore all potential danger and give them a chance because, sure, they could eviscerate you, but #NotAllMonsters, so why are you so paranoid?
They take it upon themselves to demonstrate their safety as a partner. In monster fucking media, there’s just as much emphasis put on the monster taking steps to be gentle and taking things slow. They are also hyper-attentive to how their partner feels as well as on size differences or interesting genitals. For people who’ve had their fears or needs dismissed in the past, that’s arousing and comforting.
Image: Heber Vazquez via Pexels
The Crux of Monster Fucking
Ultimately, it allows a person to enjoy all the thrill of a horror story but with a fairytale ending. It lets people grapple with all the fears, big and small, that they feel about sex and romance, with imagery that still feels fun and novel. The fantasy is seldom just about hunky creatures of the night. It’s about being able to approach sex from a position of curiosity and wonder without the fear of judgment.
It’s about having a partner who not only acknowledges but works to combat power differences within the relationship. In the end, it’s one more way to envision what sex could be.
(And yeah, okay, sometimes it’s about the fangs).
