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Dubious Consent in Romance and Erotica

Exploring the edge: when “no” means “yes.”
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The concept of consent has followed society’s trends in both its clarity and ambiguity. In the “olden days” of Romance, harkening back to when publishers and readers coined the term Bodice Ripper, permission appeared lacking. Nowadays, it’s a topic at the forefront of many readers’ and authors’ minds.

As the Romance genre moved into erotic territory, social norms stood as a hurdle for many authors and readers. 

While both readers and authors wanted steamier stories, social constraints still demanded that women not acknowledge their sexuality. Women with an interest in and a desire to engage in sex for pleasure – that is, beyond the bounds of marriage – were often seen as promiscuous or loose.

To sidestep this obstacle, Romances shifted into the territory of non-consent. 

If a virgin heroine found herself at a dominant, alpha hero’s mercy with no opportunity to protest, then was it truly her fault that she had sex outside of marriage? 

While this is by no means the entire explanation for the age of non-consensual sexual encounters in earlier modern Romance, it is a part of it. Crafting stories where the heroine was often naive, beguiled, or manipulated into sex that she later enjoyed allowed the Romance genre to produce stories that didn’t stigmatize or blame women for their interest and arousal.

A Shifting Worldview

The Women’s Lib movement sought to redefine women’s roles in society. As women gained more autonomy and agency, sexual stereotypes and restrictions began to ease. 

Over the course of two decades from the 1960s to the 1980s, Romance shifted along with the modern-day woman’s values and society’s more accepting beliefs. Therefore, there was no longer the need for non-consent scenes to conceal true arousal. 

Along the same lines as non-consent, dubious consent often removed the onus of sexual desire from the woman in early modern Romance. 

“Maybe yes, maybe no” created purposeful ambiguity. Did the heroine agree to the sex, or did she go along with it? 

This murky territory was part of the transition from the Bodice Ripper non-consent days to the present-day sexual freedom and open conversations about sexual equality. 

Moreover, it empowered women characters and readers to admit to sexual curiosity and desire while still conforming to the slowly evolving social mores.

With the male character still initiating and controlling the sexual encounters, female characters weren’t labeled as loose or promiscuous. All the while, authors and readers could explore nuanced depictions of female sexuality more freely.

Conversations about consent, non-consent, dubious consent, and consensual non-consent remain timely and relevant. 

Regardless of the Romance subgenre (Contemporary, Historical, Paranormal, Science Fiction, Romantic Comedy, or Romantic Fantasy), consideration for intimate agreement is the norm. 

Today, authors incorporate conversations about permission and agreement between characters into their stories. These can be explicit discussions, or they can be implied. But characters are equal sexual partners. Sex no longer happens to the woman but with the woman.

The changing societal dynamics of relationships and sex offer authors and readers the freedom to engage in new types of stories. These more accurately reflect human nature and the agency women and the LGBTQIA community now have. Also, they acknowledge and celebrate a person’s right to control their body and to explore sexual partnerships in whatever form they want.

With this freedom, readers have also found their voice to make clear there is still a niche for non-consent, dubious consent, and consensual non-consent. 

Human sexual fantasies take many shapes and forms, but there are notable patterns. Forced and rape fantasies are part of human sexuality, often tapping deep into the psyche. This trope’s readers may not wish to be violated in real life. However, in the realm of fiction, the wish to be so desired or needed that the word “no” isn’t a consideration can be a big turn-on for some people.

Consent in Dark Romance often returns the conversation to whether no can ever mean yes.

When readers elect to engage with these stories, there is an underlying premise of consent. They are inherently accepting of the relationships or sexual dynamics between characters because they’ve chosen to read within the genre. 

Therefore, many readers do not see characters who engage in non-consent or dubious consent as problematic. But, as always, the devil’s in the details. Since readers have varying degrees of comfort with sexual violence and consent, authors who pen Dark Romances often provide Trigger or Content Warnings to inform readers on what’s to come. This process establishes its own kind of consent-based relationship between author and reader.

For some readers who don’t want characters to go as far as forced sexual encounters, consensual non-consent is an acceptable compromise. 

Consensual non-consent refers to an erotic scenario where all parties involved agree to act out or engage in a sexual experience that mimics non-consensual behavior in a controlled, safe, and consensual manner. 

This allows characters to explore power dynamics, control, and fantasies in a context where real-life boundaries, consent, and safety are strictly observed.

In Romance, the theme of consensual non-consent is typically handled with care to differentiate clearly between the fantasy aspect and the real-life importance of consent. Authors often use this theme to delve into the psychological and emotional aspects of their characters, exploring the dynamics of trust, surrender, and control within the confines of a consensual relationship. 

These narratives often feature explicit agreements or safe words that allow any party to stop the interaction at any point. Such an arrangement ensures that the reader understands that, despite what the characters might be portraying within their dynamic, there is an underlying layer of mutual respect and agreement about the boundaries and nature of their interactions.

Consensual non-consent generally appears as roleplaying rape fantasies within fiction. 

The characters often set boundaries explicitly or implicitly. Safe words that respect a submissive character’s limits acknowledge the consensual part of this trope. 

Role-playing can express the latent wish to be so desired and needed that the dominant character has no restraint. Yet, the characters engaging in the scene remain equals. 

Dark Romance provides a space for Romance readers to explore taboo sexual themes. At the same time, they can still enjoy the requisite Happily Ever After, or at least Happy For Now ending.

Sexual liberation continues to evolve, allowing people of all sexual identities and genders to find satisfaction in the Romance genre. 

Diversity and inclusivity are increasingly becoming the norm. Therefore, conversations centering around permission will continue and likely explore even more aspects of intimate relationships and interactions. 

Romance writing identifies, acknowledges, accepts, and fulfills a multitude of aspects of the human psyche. Authors and readers will continue to mirror the norms of the era while pushing boundaries.

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