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Feminism and Submission: How Kink Empowered Me to Follow My Sexual Desires 

Stop thinking that feminism and submission are mutually exclusive.
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Madison Young in Rope Lover for Juicy Pink Box

The toothy, fibrous rope cinched tightly against my flesh, suspending my body from a large wooden beam. The rope and I were not separate but the same… we were both complex woven stories, and it enveloped me in its earthy medicine and wisdom. 

The braided jute rope held me, and I felt safe in its embrace. It smelled of dry grass, trees, and fallen leaves on a crisp autumn day. I leaned further into the places of tension… it was a dance, an exploration of the areas where we contract and expand.  

Within the rope, I soared. I was free of the density of the human body and condition. Simultaneously, I felt everything. I was connected to the beating heart of all life. In synchronistic alignment and a place of surrender to my dominant.  

Kink and Its Misconceptions

One of the most common misconceptions about kink is that feminism and submission are at odds with one another. 

Feminism is rooted in choice and agency, it is centered on actively and mindfully making informed decisions about our bodies, including how we experience pleasure. My role and identity as a submissive have only empowered who I am as a sexual being.  Feminism and submission do intersect.

As such, the very tenets of kink are based on communication. Kink play focuses on harnessing a knowing of oneself, a clarifying of one’s desires, and then an active creation of agreements and safe space to explore deep levels of connection both mentally and physically. To take such an active role in one’s sexuality and expression of sexual self is an assertive act of feminism.  

Feminism and Submission… an Open and Honest Dialogue

Outside of kink, containers for an open dialogue about our desires and the sexual experiences that we would like to sculpt are too few and far between.  

But with kink, this type of dialogue is built into our play. The communication and negotiation lay the groundwork for the deep surrender and journey that two people may go on as they explore rope bondage, role play, or a cathartic caning.  

In the unique nature of a dominant and submissive dynamic, individuals act as compassionate witnesses, and they hold space for the exploration of our inner desires and fantasies. There is a journey through one another’s physical, mental, and emotional edges. Both the dominant and submissive fully experience the mindful act of giving and receiving energy, breath, touch, and pleasure.  

A Passion Unlike Any Other 

My dominant pulls my suspended body close and kisses me on the lips. This is my happy place, my cotton candy bliss. I’m slowly lowered to the ground. My dominant brings a cup of water to my mouth, and I sip carefully. He kneels beside me, and the knots slowly become undone and fall. I want to cuddle them. To roll around in them. To thank them for their lessons and for being the beautiful conduit for the energy that flows between me and my dominant.  

It is in this beautiful dance of dominance and submission that I find my growth edges. It is here that I evolve and further discover who I am, as a submissive, a partner, and a feminist.  

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